I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
