my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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