she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
