Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
