after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
