the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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