You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
