I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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