Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
