Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
