he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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