Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
