My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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