8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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