JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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