Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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