It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
