Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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