The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
