i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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