She is in my trunk
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
