there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
