I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
