last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
