What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
the liver wants what the liver wants
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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