How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
