I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
