if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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