Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
did i walk over a car last night?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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