I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Enjoy the penises
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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