You're my little dorito
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
