i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
