Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
