Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
