I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
