Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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