i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
