Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
