Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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