oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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