spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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