he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The Olympian is in my bed
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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