things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
