Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I intend to get homeless drunk
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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