we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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