If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
