I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
