but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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