I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
That accounts for only three of the penises
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
