i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
