too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
