Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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